To err is human; to forgive, divine. This explains everything we need to know about the act of forgiveness in relationships, which is much needed but hard to get. We all know that forgiveness is an important part of maintaining a happy relationship. According to specialists, it is one of the most crucial elements of a healthy relationship. It is said to have a therapeutic effect on people, and letting go of problems and tension is supposed to have beneficial effects on one’s physical and psychological well-being.
For our sanity and calm, most of us attempt to forgive others, but some only pretend to. Toxic forgiveness, like toxic positivity, is a wellness concept that may do more harm than good. While forgiving others is preferable to holding grudges indefinitely, forgiveness can be harmful to your psychological well-being in some cases. Whether it’s a minor dispute or a long-standing resentment against a family member, friend, or spouse, toxic forgiveness can go deeper than you think.
You may be wondering, how can something like forgiveness be unhealthy? In her most recent Instagram post, a well-known therapist, Nedra Glover Tawwab, NYT Bestselling Author, Relationship & Boundaries Skilled, talked about what she thinks about toxic forgiveness.
Nedra says that toxic forgiveness is not a good way to move forward. Instead, she says, people should take the time to rebuild trust and never make hasty decisions.
The creator and the therapist also say that people aren’t forgiving and forgetting; they’re forgetting and repressing.
“Toxic forgiveness is an unhealthy approach. People pretend to be unhurt, over it, or forgetful of the offence. Forgiving to maintain the peace or pleasing other people is just not wholesome for your psychological well-being or your relationships”, she added.
Nedra Tawwab tells people to take care of their hurts, slowly rebuild their beliefs, and think about whether they want to show up in the relationship differently.